Writerly fabric has common threads, but writing style, the message, life lessons, the growth from experience—those are unique. Why you and I know this in our heads but not trust with our hearts is complicated. Once upon a time we heard encouragement that sounded like little waves of “You’re special!” Those words can feel warm and wonderful. Those same words can wash over us very differently with a slight twist of tone or inflection. They can make a person feel awkward, embarrassed, and insecure. The truth is, we can hear the same words, and a completely different response is evoked.
Writers are readers, and the first thing an emotionally healthy writer does with words (spoken and written) is evaluate them for truth. We want truth, especially when the words reflect on our souls or submissions. But writer, consider the source. That’s the “must do” in the list today. You simply must think about the heart behind the words. A beautiful, honest heart shares truth in a loving way (even if the message might be a little painful). Truth is like that.
But there’s more.
Writers being readers, we spend time taking in others’ good words. When those “others” have been successful in their writing, we begin to compare. It starts honestly and naively: “I want to be like her when I grow up.” That’s fine when skill and methods can be learned, and you start down the road with your unique journey in mind. It gets ugly quick when we want the end result without the work, or when we refuse to take the first step on the journey because—
My voice doesn’t really matter. I can’t say it better than __________. The message has already been said. If I did write something, who would read it? Publishers don’t give writers like me the time of day. I’m a nobody. My name isn’t Beth, Christine, Joyce, Lysa, Lisa, Liz, Nancy, or Priscilla. This is too hard!
Writer, remember two things if you remember nothing else.
Comparison doesn’t work.
You aren’t like anyone else. Your life story is yours. The message you share comes out of your own learning, growth, and experience. No one else has that. You are spec—let’s not use those words, even if they are true. You are unique! Think of your life a little like a sculpture, shaped by a whole tool chest of chisels. Each tool mark in your life is slightly different than mine, even if the circumstances are stone from similar quarries. Your voice matters because it isn’t like anyone else. Your message matters because only you can tell it in your voice with your perspective. Your plot twists will be different, so long as you don’t plagiarize.
So writer, write. In your voice. Share your message. Write in the few minutes you have. Write with the audience in mind, but long before their eyes will find it. You are writing in a precious place, and it’s a gift. For now, you are in obscurity, and that’s wonderful! It’s a blessing and a safe place to write without pressure or shame.
Comparison kills creativity.
Writer, go to your happy place. Go to the place where you write freely without other writers in mind. It’s not that we want to hold the “competition” in mind and heart with ugliness or defiance or loathing (self-loathing or directed at others). Just take a moment to dismiss them from the audience when you have trouble with shame in their shadows. (We should talk about this later in terms of community!) When a writer creates in the shadow of another’s perceived greatness, there is no freedom.
Writers tend to watch Ps and Qs and commas. That’s good writing in light of remembering the reader and presenting good, clean words. Excellence is never sacrificed in the work. If the creative mind returns to others’ writing samples, and it leans comparison and shame, stop it. That’s no bueno! You need a fresh start. Over-monitoring in the shadow of comparison shuts down your own creativity, and your work will likely be blocked or dripping with your felt shame.
The solution? Release others, and you release your own creativity! How’s that sound? Become less concerned about others’ success and release them (and their work) from your head space. Then you’re free to be you, write in your voice, and share your message.
I hear “Fr-ee-ee-ee-ee-dom!” in my head. Do you?
Writer, it’s time to write in freedom with amazing creativity. Lean in. Get to it!